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E M P O W E R E D P A R E N T I N G E Z I N E http://www.EmpoweredParent.com
Information For Today's Parent!

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VOL. V : Issue 1 January 22, 2003
Editor: Joan Bramsch
E-mail: hijoan@joanbramsch.com

Common sense solutions for Today's Parenting Challenges!
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Empowered Parents = Strong Families
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THIS WEEK'S EDITION SPONSORED BY:

JB Information Station, publisher of Izidor Ruckel's autobiography.
"ABANDONED FOR LIFE. The Incredible Story of One Romanian Orphan Hidden
From the World. His Life. His Words." Available on CD-ROM.
http://www.joanbramsch.com/romania.html
Buy it Today!.

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INSIDE YOUR EP EZINE
<*> Letter to Parent
<*> Article
<*> Letters from EP Parents
<*> This 'n That
<*> Marketplace
<*> Subscribe/unsubscribe Information
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"You do what you know how to do; and when you know better, you do better."
- Maya Angelou

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<*> Letter to Parent

Hi dear Parent,

Today is a Great Day. It's EP Ezine's Birthday! Volume V, Issue 1 means today's ezine starts our fifth year of continuous publication. Wow! Happy birthday to us. :)

Hundreds of you have been with me since the very first issue. Hundreds more came onboard over the years. I am so pleased that all my work has provided what you've needed through the seasons... Else you wouldn't have stayed with me.

Think of the children and how they have grown. Newborns are now five years and in Kindergarten. Those starting school back then are now ten and making more of their own decisions. Others are already teens or perhaps have entered college.

Some of the varied topics we've discussed and explored and researched have made a difference in your life and particularly in that of your child. Parents in 88 countries read and participate. What a blessing is the Internet!

So Happy Birthday to the Empowered Parenting Ezine! I rededicate this publication to families worldwide and to peace-filled solutions. May we all live long and prosper!

Love,
Joan

P.S. Since we have entered a New Year, here are some questions to ponder, to input, to pursue so speak your mind, anonymously.

1. How do you keep Passion in your marriage? If you've misplaced it, where do you think it's gone? And how do you think you can get it back?

2. How does your family divide the money? Allowances? Earned for chores? Outright giving it away? Is there any cents (sic) to the way you do it?

3. How do you get your child to obey? (Yes, I know everyone already knows this answer! ;)

4. How can I stay home from work and raise my own family?

So now let's hear from you, please. When you reply, please put into the SUBJECT LINE: OK for EP. That way, I know I have permission to publish (without your name) in EP. mailto:QUESTIONS@joanbramsch.com
P.P.S. Making the decision to have a child is momentous. It is to decide forever to have your heart go walking around outside your body.

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PLEASE SUPPORT OUR SPONSORS
They keep our service "priceless."
================
NOTE from http://www.thepromsite.com/
Hi EP members: We'd like to get contributions from parents about their proms in the 60s and
70s. Perhaps you'll respond with a story or analysis of your prom vs today's proms. Share your thoughts with us. Just write to mailto:Prom@joanbramsch.com Thank you.

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DON'T let this be YOU!

There are people who put their dreams in a little box and say, "Yes, I've got dreams, of course, I've got dreams." Then they put the box away and bring it out once in a while to look in it, and yep, they're still there. These are great dreams, but they never even get out of the box. It takes an uncommon amount of guts to put your dreams on the line, to hold them up, and say, "How good or how bad am I?" That's where courage comes in. ~ Erma Bombeck

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<*> Article

Sighs of the Heart

She keeps repeating it over and over again. "We've been back to this shelter at least five times. It has been weeks now since we started all of this." the woman told the volunteer.

"What is it she keeps asking for?" she asked.

"Puppy size!"

"We have plenty of puppies, if that's what she's looking for."

"I know. We have seen most of them," she said in frustration. Just then the young child came walking in the office. "Well, did you find one?"

"No, not this time," she said with sadness in her voice. "Can we come back on the weekend?"

The two women looked at each other, shook their heads and laughed. "You never know when we will get more dogs. Unfortunately, there's always a supply," the volunteer said.

The young child took her mother by the hand and headed to the door. "Don't worry, I bet we'll find one this weekend," the child said.

Over the next few days both Mom and Dad had long conversations with her. They both felt she was being too particular. "It's this weekend or we're not looking any more," Dad finally said in frustration. "We don't want to hear anything more about puppy size either," Mom added.

Sure enough they were the first ones in the shelter on Saturday morning. By now the young child knew her way around, so she ran right for the section that housed the smaller dogs. Tired of the routine, Mom sat in the small waiting room at the end of the first row of cages. There was an observation window so you could see the animals during times when visitors weren't permitted. The young girl walked slowly from cage to cage, kneeling periodically to take a closer look. One by one the dogs were brought out and she held each one. One by one she said, "Sorry, you're not the one."

It was the last cage on this last day in search of the perfect pup. The volunteer opened the cage door and the child carefully picked up the dog and held it closely. This time she it took a little longer. "Mom, that's it! I found the right puppy! He's the one! I know it!" she screamed with joy.

Mom, startled by all the commotion, came running. "What? Are you sure? How do you know?" she asked.

"It's the puppy sighs!"

"Yes, it is the same size as all the other puppies you held the last few weeks," Mom said.

"No, not size...sighs. When I held him in my arms he sighed," she said. "So? Don't you remember? When I asked you one day what love is, you told me 'Love depends on the sighs of your heart. The more you love, the bigger the sighs!'"

The two women looked at each other for a moment. Mom didn't know whether to laugh or cry. As she stooped down to hug her child she did a little of both.

"Mom, every time you hold me I sigh. When you and Daddy come home from work and hug each other you both sigh. I knew I would find the right puppy if it sighed when I held it in my arms," she said. Then holding the puppy up close to her face she said, "Mom, he loves me. I heard the sighs of his heart."

Close your eyes for a moment and think about the love that makes you sigh. I not only find it in the arms of my loved ones, but in the caress of a sunset, the kiss of the moonlight and the gentle brush of cool air on a hot day. Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away.

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HERE KITTY, KITTY!
Http://www.broenink-art.nl/maukie.swf

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ATTENTION:
Please click on the EP home page so you can read all about one of the latest books I've edited - "Ever Wondered If Your Child Will Use Drugs?" By Crystal Elliott http://www.EmpoweredParent.com

ALSO, see the special sale on "Kid Safe: Parents Protect Your Child & Teen From Molesters & Kidnappers" by Pam Coronado and Joan Bramsch.

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<*> Letters from EP Parents

Joan, I wanted to say "Thank you" very much for your wonderful and insightful web site. As a single mother of 3 children, 2 of whom are teenagers, I have found your web site very helpful and uplifting and so supportive. So I wanted to tell you "Thank you." Keep up the great work!!
Jennine

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YARN donations: Attention EPers... Does anyone in your family have a bag or box filled with yarn odds and ends that they'd like to donate to EP Caps4 Kids? Go here and see lots of pictures of young models wearing hats and caps created by our members. We didn't quite make the 10,000 cap figure, but not because we didn't all try. Write me at mailto:caps@joanbramsch.com Thank you.

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Joan, I just enjoy the moment you give me during a busy work day to remember my top priority - my kids. It also helps to hear that the challenges we face are normal and that love (which we have lots of) is the most important thing. Despite both working, I do believe that our kids feel that they come first and that we will always make time for them. T.H.

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Joan, we have a Bi-Polar son, so any info. on Bi-Polar Children would be great. We also have a daughter with developmental delays, so support would be nice.

JOAN'S NOTE: Parents... please share information if you have it. Thank you.

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We are a 2 parent home. My husband travels a great deal, so sometimes I feel like a single parent! I am a stay at home mom after teaching 15 years. I do baby-sit in my home, especially children with special needs. My children are: EmmaLee 17; ElizaBeth 10; Simon 9; Amee 6; Malachi 4 and Zachariah 3. EmmaLee is my biological daughter who my husband adopted at her request this past year. The other 5 children were adopted in April of 2001. They are a sibling group through Children Services. Also living in our large home at this time is a single mom and 3 of her children who called me for a ride to a shelter in the next city because her landlord through her stuff outside. (Charges are being explored.) We have had 17 foster children in the past 4 years, all with multiple problems from their home life. God is so good to us, we are glad to be able to "...stand in the gap.." as the Bible says.

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<*> Article

"Worthwhile Lives For Children"

It might sound a paradoxical thing to say--for surely never has a generation of children occupied more sheer hours of parental time--but the truth is that we neglected you. We allowed you a charade of trivial freedoms in order to avoid making those impositions on you that are in the end both the training ground and proving ground for true independence. We pronounced you strong when you were still weak in order to avoid the struggles with you that would have fed your true strength. We proclaimed you sound when you were foolish in order to avoid taking part in the long, slow, slogging effort that is the only route to genuine maturity of mind and feeling. Thus, it was no small anomaly of your growing up that while you were the most indulged generation, you were also in many ways the most abandoned to your own meager devices by those into whose safe-keeping you had been given. --- Midge Decter

There are only two lasting bequests we can hope to give our
children. One is roots; the other, wings.
--- Hodding Carter

JOAN'S NOTE: Imo, this is so true. We had five major chores to be rotated weekly among our five children.
* Fold and put away laundry (about 35 loads a week)
* Help prepare dinner and set table
* Clean up and do dishes after dinner
* Take out the trash and vacuum home on Saturday
* Clean the bathroom (yes, we had only one bathroom for seven persons who had to get out both the front door and the back door to their respective schools and work within one-half hour of one another!)

These chores were worthwhile and NEEDED jobs. They had nothing to do with allowances, though they could earn more income if they did extra chores. But these main jobs were nothing more or less than the responsibility of sharing our home.

Allowances were strictly to learn how to handle money. They had to save ten percent (I took them to the bank weekly where they climbed a little set of steps provided there so they could do their own business at the counter). They had to give ten percent - to church or to another charity.
The balance they could spend or save toward a desired item, as they wished.

If they needed more income, they did more home chores, as I have just stated, they ran errands for some of the neighbors, helped neighbors in need clean their houses, cut lawns and other such work. They also had an annual summer Yard Sale where they sold "stuff" to other kids! :)

IMO, many children today are raised on silken pillows, as the saying goes, needing to feel needed but not allowed to experience that good feeling of being part of a family, part of a community, part of the working world.

The child learns, not only, how to work, to start a job and complete it, but also to experience that Fine Feeling of a job well done.

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"There will always be a lie in the middle of anything that you beLIEve. But, no matter what you believe to be real, life will always have U in the middle of the trUth." -- Mark Andrews

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WHAT CHILDREN WANT!

No other success can compensate for failure in the home. -McKay

Now here's some food for thought!

RULES FOR PARENTS - Entering 2003, they still apply:

Quote Magazine (September 1, 1985) published ten behaviors children ages 8 to 14 identified as qualities wanted in parents. These young people, from 24 countries, agreed on 10 traits they believed ere important for all parents to possess. Here they are:

1. They want harmony. They do not want their parents to have unresolved and destructive conflict in front of them.

2. They want love. They wish to be treated with the same affection as other children in the family.

3. They want honesty. They do not want to be lied to.

4. They want acceptance. They desire mutual tolerance from both parents.

5. They want their parents to like their friends. They want their friends to be welcomed in the home.

6. They want closeness. They desire comradeship with their parents.

7. They want their parents to pay attention to them and answer their questions.

8. They want consideration from their parents. They do not want to be embarrassed or punished in front of friends.

9. They want positive support. They wish for their parents to concentrate on their good points rather than their weaknesses.

10. They want consistency. They desire parents to be constant in their affections and moods.

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<*> This 'n That

TRIVIA, I love it! Venus is the only planet that rotates clockwise.

Achieve anything you want in life -- http://successmethods.org/index.cfm?id=7737&fuseaction=browse&pageid=112#goals

So just shut the seat!! Dentists have recommended that a toothbrush be kept at least 6 feet away from a toilet to avoid airborne particles resulting from the flush.

FREE: CHILDREN'S DRUG SAFETY MANUAL You can download a free copy of the Children's Drug Safety Manual or you can order a hard copy for a small fee. This is a simple book for kids with games quizzes and plenty of facts about drugs


alternative to Ritalin http://my.webmd.com/content/Article/54/65202.htm

Vaccines and Autism
http://gulfwarvets.com/kids.htm

Check Out Any Nursing Home You can find out how many residents have bedsores, or how many are placed in physical restraints, or how many hours the nurses work. Go to http://www.medicare.gov and click 'Nursing Home Compare."

Get $3,000 Worth Of Free Tutoring For Your Child The President's "No Child Left Behind" offers free tutoring from private companies to school children around the country. New York estimates that only 10,000 of the 240,000 eligible children have applied for the program. This can be worth thousands of dollars in service that every child can use. See if you are eligible by contacting your local school board or at http://www.nochildleftbehind.gov /parents/supplementalservices/index.html

So stop shedding! Most dust particles in your house are made from dead skin.

SEX - http://www.abcnews.go.com/sections/2020/DailyNews/2020_teensex021206.html?partner=earthlink

Visit the web site that bullies don't want you or your children to know about! Confidence, motivation, and self-esteem. All character traits we want in our children and ourselves. Download the FREE report "40 Developmental Assets to prevent your Child from becoming 'At Risk'" http://www.bullyfreekids.com

New Federal Accurate Clock http://www.yugop.com/ver3/stuff/03/fla.html

=======
Tater People.
Author unknown.

Some people never seem motivated to participate, but are just content to watch while others do the work. They are called "Speck Taters".
Some people never do anything to help, but are gifted at finding fault with the way others do the work. They are called "Comment Taters".
Some people are very bossy and like to tell others what to do, but don't want to soil their own hands. They are called "Dick Taters".
Some people are always looking to cause problems by asking others to agree with them. It is too hot or too cold, too sour or too sweet. They are called "Agie Taters".
There are those who say they will help, but somehow just never get around to actually doing the promised help. They are called "Hezzie Taters".
Some people can put up a front and pretend to be someone they are not. They are called "Emma Taters".
Then there are those who love others and do what they say they will They are always prepared to stop whatever they are doing and lend a helping hand. They bring real sunshine into the lives of others. They are called "Sweetpo Taters".

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A GIFT FOR YOU - for reading to the end... :)
I'd like to leave you with a gift I think you'll really like.
It's a brand spanking new (short read) eBook called "Pearls of
Success" that you can download, or read online, here:
Http://www.pearlsofsuccess.com

===============
<*> Marketplace

Check out special offers, deals and reviews

=================
"Nutrition and Kids Adventures" is a cutting edge computer game designed to
help kids teach themselves about proper nutrition, healthier foods, and
having a healthy body. This CD-ROM game is for our elementary age children
to have fun as they learn about health and nutrition.
Http://www.nutritionandkids.net/10617/index.shtml

If I didn't think this program could make a difference in the health and
well-being of Families I would not recommend it. Please, see for yourself,
dear Parent. Then ACT! My grandkids love to play it.

===================
HOW SMART DO YOU WANT YOUR CHILD TO BE? A Course for Children, 2.5 to 6
yrs. Joan will give you what you need to help your child - Gifted, Average
or Special - learn the skills for success in school and in Life. Let her
help you. http://joanbramsch.com/tmiy.shtml
===================
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benefits of the Safe Money Report for a full year for just $99 … or better
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for Doreen. This is HALF-PRICE for EP!

===================
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What the World Needs Now:
http://www.peoplebuildingpeople.com

===================
War cannot be humanized, it can only be abolished.
-- Albert Einstein

The ultimate oxymoron: "Holy War"

================================
FEED THE HUNGRY:
http://www.thehungersite.com
http://www.heifer.org/

FOR PEACE ON OUR PLANET: We are not going to be able to operate our
Spaceship Earth successfully nor for much longer unless we see it as a
whole spaceship and our fate as common. It has to be everybody or nobody.
-Buckminster Fuller

NEXT ISSUE: More of the best I can find for you, dear Parent. And those EP
Bulletins will continue, if sporadically. .

* . (\ *** /) * . *
. * ( \ (_) / ) * Guardian Angel * .
. (_ / | \ _) . * .
* . /____\ * . . *
In the meantime, here is an angel sent to watch over you for me...

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FROM BILL:
We are Angels born with but one wing,
In order to fly we must embrace one another.
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Till next time, don't forget -- Parenthood is Wonder-filled!

Fondly, Joan
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DISCLAIMER: The Empowered Parenting Ezine is intended to increase your
knowledge of the opinions and options in the fields that we cover. There is
no guarantee of validity or accuracy. Its contents should not be used to
replace professional advice. Empowered Parenting assumes no responsibility
for injury and specifically disclaims any warranty, express or implied for
any products or services mentioned. If expert assistance or counseling is
needed, services of a competent professional should be sought.

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© 1999-2003 Joan Bramsch/JB INFORMATION STATION.
All rights reserved worldwide.
ISSN: 1526-2154 - Library Of Congress, Washington DC, USA

Permission to download text is for personal use only. It is illegal to
reproduce or transmit in any form or by any means, electronic or
mechanical, including photocopying, or by any information storage and
retrieval system, any part of this copyrighted text without permission in
writing from the publisher.
===================================

http://www.EmpoweredParent.com

All material copyright © Joan Bramsch 1999, 2000, 2001, 2002, 2003 (unless otherwise
noted)

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